Frequently Asked Questions

Whether you're new to therapy or simply trying to figure out if we'd be a good fit, I hope these answers give you a clearer picture of how I work and what you can expect. If something isn't covered here, feel free to reach out — I'm happy to talk it through.

How Therapy Works:

What happens in the first session?

The first session is really a conversation. I want to get a sense of what's bringing you in, what's been on your mind or weighing on you, and what you're hoping for from therapy. You don't need to have it all figured out — most people don't. I'll ask some questions to better understand your history and situation, and we'll start to get a feel for whether working together feels like a good fit. There's no pressure and no agenda beyond getting to know each other a little and working together to identify your goals for our work together.

  • That depends on what you're working on and what you're hoping to get out of it. Some people come for a specific issue and feel ready to wrap up after a few months. Others find that therapy opens up deeper layers they want to continue exploring over a longer period. I don't have a fixed timeline — we'll check in regularly about how things are going and whether the work still feels useful and alive for you.

  • Most clients begin by meeting weekly. Consistent weekly sessions tend to build momentum and allow the work to go deeper. As things settle and you feel more resourced, we might shift to every other week. Ultimately the frequency is something we decide together based on your needs, your life, and your goals.

  • I offer both in-person sessions at my office in Santa Cruz, CA and telehealth sessions via a secure, HIPAA-compliant video platform. Many clients appreciate the flexibility of telehealth, while others find that being in the room together makes a meaningful difference. Either way, the work is equally real.

  • That's actually pretty common, and I appreciate you sharing it. Therapy is not one-size-fits-all — the fit between client and therapist, and the particular approach used, matters enormously. If something didn't work before, that's worth talking about. My approach tends to go deeper than symptom management, and I draw on several different methods so I can adjust to what actually works for you. A brief consultation call is a good way to get a sense of whether this time might feel different.

My Approach & Therapeutic Modalities

What is Depth Psychology?

Depth psychology is an approach to the mind that takes the unconscious seriously. Rooted in the work of Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud and developed by thinkers like James Hillman and Marion Woodman, it holds that much of what shapes our lives — our patterns in relationships, our emotional reactions, our inner conflicts — originates in parts of the psyche that lie below everyday awareness. Rather than focusing solely on symptoms or surface-level behavior change, depth psychology is interested in meaning, symbol, dream, and the deeper story beneath the presenting problem. My graduate training at Pacifica Graduate Institute was grounded in this tradition, and it informs much of what I do as a therapist.

What is Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy?

Internal Family Systems, or IFS, is a therapeutic model developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz that understands the mind as made up of distinct "parts" — each with its own perspective, feelings, and role in your inner world. Some parts protect you from pain. Others carry old wounds. And beneath all of them, there is what IFS calls the Self — a place of calm, curiosity, and compassion that is always present, even when it feels far away. IFS offers us a way to approach inner conflict without pathologizing any part of you. The goal isn't to get rid of difficult feelings or behaviors — it's to understand what they're protecting and to help those parts feel safe enough to step back and let your Self lead.

What is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)?

Emotionally Focused Therapy, or EFT, is one of the most well-researched approaches to couples therapy available. Developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, EFT is grounded in attachment theory — the science of how we form emotional bonds — and focuses on the underlying emotional experiences that drive the patterns couples get stuck in. In EFT, we slow down the cycle of conflict, criticism, or withdrawal and help partners turn toward each other from a place of vulnerability rather than reactivity. The goal is a more secure, connected bond — not just better communication, but a fundamentally different quality of closeness.

  • Somatic therapy is an approach that recognizes the body as central to emotional experience and healing. "Somatic" simply means relating to the body — and the core insight is that trauma, stress, and emotional pain don't just live in our thoughts; they live in our nervous systems, our muscles, our breath, and our posture. Somatic work in our sessions might involve pausing to notice physical sensations, exploring how an emotion shows up in the body, or using breath and movement as a way of shifting states. It's gentle, grounding work that can help you access parts of your experience that talking alone doesn't always reach.

  • Mindfulness in therapy isn't about sitting in meditation (though that can be part of it). It's about cultivating the capacity to be present with your own experience — thoughts, feelings, sensations — without immediately reacting, judging, or trying to fix it. In practice, this might look like slowing down in session to notice what's actually happening for you right now, rather than staying in the story of what happened then. Mindfulness practices can be powerful tools for anxiety, emotional regulation, and developing a more compassionate relationship with yourself.

  • Person-centered therapy, developed by Carl Rogers, is founded on the idea that people have an innate capacity for growth and self-understanding — and that what makes therapy work is not a set of techniques but the quality of the relationship. In practice, this means I follow your lead. I trust your instincts about what matters, I don't impose an agenda on where things should go, and I'm genuinely interested in your experience as you describe it. This approach is woven through everything I do, even when I'm drawing on other methods.

  • Attachment theory, originally developed by John Bowlby, describes how our early experiences of connection — or disconnection — with caregivers shape our patterns of relating throughout life. An attachment-focused approach means I pay attention to those patterns: how you seek or avoid closeness, what happens when you feel vulnerable, and how early experiences show up in your current relationships. This lens is particularly useful in couples work, but it's relevant for anyone who wants to understand their relational patterns more deeply.

Couples Therapy

  • I work with couples navigating a wide range of challenges: recurring conflict or communication breakdown, emotional distance or disconnection, trust repair after infidelity or betrayal, major life transitions (new parenthood, career changes, relocation), differences in intimacy needs, and the quieter kind of drift that happens when life gets busy and the relationship gets put last. I also work with couples who are fundamentally solid but want to go deeper — to understand each other more fully and build something more intentional together.

  • It helps enormously when both partners are willing — but they don't need to be equally enthusiastic at the start. One person can be more hesitant or skeptical, and that's okay. What matters is a willingness to show up and give it a real try. Often, people who come in guarded are surprised by what becomes possible when the work actually begins. If only one partner is willing to engage in therapy at all, individual therapy focused on the relationship can still create meaningful shifts.

  • In couples therapy, the relationship itself is the client — not either individual. My attention is on the dynamic between you: the cycle you get caught in, the emotional needs underneath it, and the patterns that have developed over time. I work to hold both partners with equal care and without taking sides. That said, I may sometimes work with each partner individually for a session or two as part of the process, depending on what feels most useful.

  • Not at all. Some of the most valuable couples work happens when things are okay but not great — when partners want to deepen their connection before resentments build, or when they sense a slow drift and want to address it proactively. Therapy doesn't have to be a last resort. Coming in before things are critical tends to make the work faster and more generative.

  • Absolutely. I work with couples of all genders and sexual orientations. Love, attachment, and the challenges that bring couples into therapy — disconnection, conflict, trust repair, navigating life transitions — aren't specific to any one kind of relationship.

    My approach is affirming and non-judgmental. Whoever you are and however you define your relationship, you deserve a space where both partners feel genuinely seen and respected. That's what I aim to provide.

Men's Therapy & Men's Issues

  • Men's issues refers to the particular psychological terrain that many men navigate — often without much support or language for it. This includes things like difficulty identifying or expressing emotions, struggles with vulnerability in relationships, the weight of provider or performance pressure, questions of identity and purpose, grief that never got acknowledged, and the ways that cultural messages about masculinity can cut men off from their own inner lives. I'm interested in working with men who are ready to go deeper than the surface — who sense there's more available to them than the scripts they've been handed, and who are willing to explore what that might look like.

  • Absolutely not — and honestly, coming in without everything figured out is often the point. Many men I work with describe a vague sense that something isn't working, or a feeling of being stuck, without being able to name exactly what it is. That's a fine place to start. Part of what therapy offers is the space to slow down and actually find out what's going on beneath the surface. You don't need the right words. You just need to show up.

  • Not at all — it's probably more common than you think. A lot of men come into therapy with very limited practice talking about their emotional lives and plenty of skepticism that doing so would be of any use. That's not a flaw and it’s totally understandable; it's usually the result of years of messages — subtle and not so subtle — that feelings are something to manage privately or push through. Part of my job is to help make that kind of conversation feel less foreign and more natural over time, as well as to help clarify how to utilize feelings and emotions to improve your quality of life.

  • Yes — while I have a particular interest in men's psychological development, my practice is open to anyone who feels drawn to the kind of work I do. Many of my individual clients are women, and couples therapy can often involves partners of different genders.

    What matters most isn't your gender — it's whether the approach resonates with you. If depth psychology, somatic awareness, and a relational style of therapy sound like what you're looking for, I'd love to connect.

Fees, insurance & logistics

  • Individual sessions are $200 per 50-minute hour. Couples sessions are $225 per 60-minute hour. I believe that good therapy should be accessible, and I hold a small number of sliding scale spots for clients who need them. If fee is a concern, please mention it when we speak — I'm happy to have that conversation openly.

  • I am an out-of-network provider and do not bill insurance directly. However, I can provide you with a monthly superbill — a detailed receipt — that you can submit to your insurance company for potential reimbursement if you have out-of-network mental health benefits. I recommend calling your insurance provider to ask about your out-of-network benefits before we begin.

  • A superbill is a detailed receipt that includes all the information your insurance company needs to process a claim for out-of-network mental health services. You pay for your session at the time of the appointment, and I provide the superbill, which you then submit to your insurance for reimbursement. The amount reimbursed depends on your specific plan. Many PPO plans offer meaningful reimbursement for out-of-network therapy — it's worth calling your insurance to find out.

  • I ask for at least 24 hours notice to cancel or reschedule a session. Sessions cancelled with less than 24 hours notice are charged the full session fee, except in cases of genuine emergency.

How do I get started?

The first step is a free 20-minute phone consultation. It's a chance for us to briefly connect, for you to ask questions, and for us to get a sense of whether working together feels like a good fit. There's no commitment required. If you'd like to schedule a consultation, you can reach me through the contact form on this site or by calling or emailing directly.

Schedule a free consultation

Taking the first step toward therapy can feel like a lot — and it doesn't have to be. A free 20-minute consultation is simply a conversation: a chance for you to share a little about what's bringing you in, ask any questions you have, and get a sense of whether working together feels like the right fit. There's no pressure and no commitment. If you're curious, I'd be glad to hear from you.

seanneesleylmft@gmail.com
(408) 430-7187